like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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