how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
