This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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