the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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