so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
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i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
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HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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