i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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