I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize