I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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