covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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