How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
