If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
