Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!

(763): View more from Minnesota

Yes.

(612): View more from Minnesota

fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria

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(908): View more from New Jersey

How wet are you?

(1-908): View more from New Jersey

Ever heard of a U-boat?

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(815): View more from Illinois

come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis

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(410): View more from Maryland

I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old

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(+84): View more from

he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.

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(585): View more from New York

I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital

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(613): View more from Ontario

do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?

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(707): View more from California

So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.

(1-707): View more from California

That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad

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