I just saw a hot homeless man
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
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