I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
