Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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