I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
