Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
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My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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