he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
