So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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