After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
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I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
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Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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