I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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