The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
