her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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