YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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