she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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