2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
