my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
