Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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