just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize