I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
