eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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