and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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