Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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