Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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