I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
