I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
