Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
