If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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