When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
