you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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