Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
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