Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
