my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
