This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
