I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
