I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
