And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
