well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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