i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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