That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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