Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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