It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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