Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
They have beer where we have blood.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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