community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
