Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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