i think i have herpe
just one?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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