i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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